Thursday, May 28, 2009


All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy; I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay a while and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be... me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

Repeat ***

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

Repeat ***

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used tobe
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

I dedicate this song to my late brother, Rommel. I felt that the lyrics of this song were the message he would like to tell everybody about his condition. That he’s not crazy, he’s just unwell. He suffered from schizophrenia for such a long time, he was unable to communicate or express his emotions but I believe that this was his thought when he was still alive.

I admire the song writer, Rob Thomas, lead singer of Matchbox Twenty. He’s so genius that he was able to write a song like this. He was feeling the people who suffer from great pains, who experiences hallucination, delusions, disorganized and unusual thinking. According to him, he wrote the song to be a metaphor for humanity in general, a song for people who are "fucked up and feel alone like that. We all feel a little fucked up sometimes... you're not alone."

This song will be forever in my heart.

Monday, May 11, 2009

In memory of Kuya Ame

Today, May 11, 2009, this day should have been Kuya Ame’s 31st birthday. But since he’s with the Good Lord now, we just celebrated it for his memory.

My parents and eldest brother celebrated it last May 8, which was the feast day of Brgy. Old Manunca Sta. Rita Western Samar. They had offered a mass for him.

My sister who’s in the US lit a candle for him.

Here in ParaƱaque, Kuya Ame’s daughter, Raine lit 3 candles for him. Then after, it formed a heart shape. His daughter wondered why, I just told her that it’s because her father loves her so much. I believe that no matter where he is right now, he still thinks of his only daughter.

Message for Kuya Ame:

We love you and you will always be in our heart. Raine is with us and she’s ok. We’ll be taking good care of her, don’t worry.