Dreams tell us something..

People from all walks of life dream every night. People have sought meaning of dreams as they have been described PHYSIOLOGICALLY as a response to neural processes during sleep, PSYCHOLOGICALLY as reflections of the subconscious, and SPIRITUALLY as messages from God or predictions of the future.

I dream almost every night, sometimes I remember, and sometimes I forget. But every time I remember my dream, I always visit this website, http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/.

Here are some of the dreams I remembered and their meanings from the dream dictionary:

1. Talking to my late brother Rommel

To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.

2. Cutting my hair

To dream that you are cutting your hair, suggests that you are experiencing a loss in strength. You may feel that someone is trying to censor you. Alternatively, you may be reshaping your thinking or ambitions and eliminating unwanted thoughts/habits.

3. Killing someone by stabbing a knife

To dream that you kill someone indicates that heavy stress may cause you to lose your temper and self-control. Consider the person you have killed and ask yourself if you feel any rage towards him or her in your waking life. Your dream may be expressing some hidden anger. Alternatively, you may be trying to kill or put an end to an aspect of yourself that is represented by the person killed.

4. Won 10 Million Pesos

To see or win money in your dream indicates that success and prosperity is within your reach. Money may represent confidence, self-worth, success, or values. You have much belief in yourself. Alternatively, dreaming about money refers to your attitudes about love and matters of the heart.

5. Visiting an old house

To see an old, run-down house in your dream represents your old beliefs, attitudes and how you used to think or feel. A situation in your current life may be bringing about those same old attitudes and feelings. Alternatively, the old house may symbolize your need to update you mode of thinking.

Some people don’t believe in this, no one is forcing you.

But for those people, who do believe, check the meaning of your dreams. Have fun.

Things change as you grow old

I went to the National Bookstore and saw the Math Window Card. There was one day, my sister, Ate Ruth, who’s in the US, was talking to my niece, Raine, through yahoo messenger. She asked Raine if she knows how to multiply numbers. Since she’ll be turning Grade 4, she confidently answered her aunt that she can. My sister started asking her questions then Raine started giving her the answers. So I bought the math window cards that I saw and gave it to Raine so she could enhance her mathematical skills.

I remember when I was in Elementary; I was part of the Math Olympiad Team. We compete in different levels. When I was in Grade 2 or 3, (not sure of the grade level), I won the 3^rd place in the district level in Epifanio De Los Santos Elem. School. When I was in High School, Math was my favorite subject and when it comes to Math competitions, it was me who reigned. I even took Bachelor of Science in Accountancy when I was in college.

Some people thought that I will be a successful accountant, even my parents. But it was the opposite. After finishing 1^st semester of BS Accountancy, I decided to shift course. I shifted and graduated with a course of Liberal Arts major in Psychology, a course that doesn’t include more than 2 Math subjects. Funny isn’t it? I like Math since I started studying but later on, with no reason at all, I hated the subject when I was growing up. Maybe I was fed up, I don’t know and until this day, I still don’t have the answer.

When you grow old, your preferences, your dream, your ambitions; everything changes. There are lots of factors affecting your will that you may not be aware of, like your surroundings, your family, your friends and the things that you encounter each and everyday. You might disappoint some people because you didn’t pursue their dreams for you. But you also have to let them know, that you as an individual has your own dreams. By following your heart and dreams, you’ll become a better and a happy person.

I didn’t end up as an Accountant or a Psychologist, no regrets for the decisions I had made, because I am happy and contented and that’s what matters most.

Myofascial Pain Syndrome

March 13, 2009, I was brought to the hospital (Las Piñas City Medical Clinic) because of severe muscle pain in my jaw and neck; and shortness of breath. Diagnosis was Myofascial Pain Syndrome.

What is MPS?

It is a term used to describe one of the conditions characterized by chronic pain. It is more often described as occurring in a more limited area of the body, for example, only around the shoulder and neck, and on only one side of the body. The precise cause of MPS is not fully understood and is undergoing research in several medical fields.

I’ve found out that I have MPS (Myofascial Pain Syndrome) in the year 2006. I felt severe muscle pain in my upper back, shoulders and face. The muscles were heavy and I really can’t bear the pain. X-ray was done and when found out that the muscles in my neck are thickening, I was advised to have therapy sessions and take muscle relaxant (Myonal) to ease the pain. I had 18 sessions of physical therapy (PT) as a treatment for the said illness.

But since I am pregnant, PT and intake of Myonal aren’t allowed. So when I was in the hospital, I was just advised to take Paracetamol to ease the muscle pain and had oxygen to help me out with breathing. Then after couple of hours, pain was gone and my breathing was back to normal.

So for those people, who are experiencing muscle pain in the upper part of your body, visit a General Medicine Doctor so you could be referred to the Rehabilitation Medicine Doctor for consultation and treatment. Referral is needed so don’t go directly to a Rehab Med Doctor.

Finally…I am Pregnant

I have met my husband, Naj, in 2002. We were girlfriends/boyfriends for 3 years then we decided to live together in 2005. Since then we have been planning to have a baby. First year of living together, we thought we can make it but after second and third year still no luck. We even came to a point that we both thought that we’re infertile. We’re both the youngest in the family. My siblings have their own kids. My eldest brother has 3 boys and a girl, my 2^nd brother has a daughter and my sister has a daughter also. His only brother has 2 boys as well. Both our parents were questioning us why after so many years of being together, still no grandchildren from us. Even our friends and workmates were wondering why can’t we have a child.

There were questions in my mind like: Why girls younger than me can bear a child? Why women who are not ready to be a mother are given a child? Why newly couples who are not yet adjusted to their new life, haven’t enjoyed their time together as couple were already given a child? What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with us? Why can’t we? Why not us? What’s missing?

I know it’s not good to question things, I know there’s a reason for everything that’s happening. I’m just impatient; I’m just a human, not perfect.

Then, January of 2008, we decided to get married. We thought that this might be the answer. We went to the municipal hall of Parañaque, asked the requirements for civil wedding. After completing all the requirements, we scheduled the date of our marriage. Our family and friends were stunned with our decision. Some of them disagreed with our decision especially our mothers. Mothers always thought that they will loose their son/daughter but they haven’t realized that we have been together for couple of years already. After so many explanations, they’ve given us their blessings.

February 07, 2008; I became Mrs. Rosanna Padit-Asne. After 5 years and 6 months, we’re finally married.

After couple of months, still no sign of pregnancy. I was sad, frustrated, depressed, etc. I can’t work, I’m not inspired. Someone told me that as a woman, I was a failure. (Ouch). Giving birth, bearing a child is the very essence of a woman. But I can’t, I am not able to. And I don’t know why!

Then one day, we decided to seek for professional help. Series of test were conducted, my laboratory results were okay. We had found out that my husband’s sperms were low-motile. I was so naïve, I thought that he’s infertile. But good thing, the doctor explained the cause of this. The sperms are unable to move spontaneously and actively due to stress and exposure to heat. My husband was a kitchen crew for couple of years and that explains why. September 2008, I was advised to take folic acid and multivitamins for my husband.

November came, I felt sick. I had stomach ache, I was always in the clinic. I was even advised by the doctor to have my gallbladder, kidney, pancreas and other internal organs be checked. But everything was okay. Then the internal medicine doctor asked me to have urinalysis and found out that I had urinary tract infection. I never had UTI until then. After 7 days of 1 gram of antibiotic twice a day, it was cured. On my second urinalysis, yeast cells were visible in my urine which was not normal. Was advised to consult an OB-Gyne but I didn’t do it, sometimes I have problems following instructions or I may say, almost all the time.

December 16, 2008; I’d realized that I haven’t had my period yet.I was delayed for almost a week, so I asked my husband to buy a pregnancy kit. I was not hoping for anything, I just want to know why I still don’t have my period. If the result is negative, I can consult an OB the next day and check if something’s wrong. So I’ve repeatedly read the instructions to make sure that the result will be accurate. When I saw 2 red lines in the kit, I didn’t know what to do or say, I wasn’t sure because I was not used to that. Plus the fact that I had it done at night, I told myself that it wasn’t confirmed yet. Then when I woke up the next day, I asked my husband to buy another kit. First thing in the morning, I did the test and I saw those 2 lines again. I was happy but not yet sure if it’s really true. We went to Casa Medica, had my ultrasound (trans-v) and found out that there’s an 8-week single-celled organism inside my body. I can’t explain the way I felt that day. Unbelievable! It was a miracle. At the age of 27, finally I got pregnant. I am the happiest woman alive! Thanked God…

After 3 years of being gf/bf, after 2 1/2 years of living together, after 9 months of being married, finally!!!

Until now, I can’t believe that the wish I have been longing for has been granted. The prayer that I have been saying for has been answered. I have also learnt a lesson; patience is the greatest of all virtues. A person that can have patience can have what he will. So for those who are loosing hope, please don’t. Our prayers will be answered in due time. The Lord God has plans for us, and we shouldn’t question his will. Just wait and hope.

“Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.”

James 5:7-8

Is there life after death?

Is There Life After Death? This is a question that has not been directly answered but has been described by some of the people who had near-death experiences. This has been the question in my mind since my second to the eldest brother, Rommel (known as “Ame”), passed away last October 22, 2007.

He passed away, 5 days after his daughter celebrated her 7^th birthday (Oct.17) and a day after our sister got married (Oct 21).

Until this very moment, I am still struggling to survive the grief of losing a brother. It’s not really easy to accept that one day in your life, you’ll wake up and you no longer have one of the members of your family.

My Kuya Ame died at the age of 29. He has an only child, a daughter named Raine. She was his life.

He was diagnosed with Schizophrenia in the year 1998 and suffered with that mental illness for a decade; this was because of over dosage of prohibited drugs. I have seen him fight for his illness because he cared a lot for her daughter. He wanted to give Raine a good life. He wanted to take care of his child and the mother of his child. I have seen him suffered. I have seen the pain and the burden on his shoulders. I have seen all of that. He was a fighter and I admired him for that.

When I saw his remains inside the casket, I have looked into his face and saw the sadness on it. He was not ready to die; he believed that he will be well because his daughter needs him. I know what my brother’s main concern in life was, it was Raine. So when he was about to be taken into the church for the mass, I told him to rest and not to worry about her daughter because we’ll be here to take care of her. After saying those words, I have smelled a fragrant of a flower. I knew he heard what I have said and by saying those words I knew he can rest already.

There was a time when I felt really sad and worried about him because I don’t know where he is. I know nobody can answer me. I wanted to know what he’s doing and what’s going on with him. But there’s really no way for me to know the answers to these things. One night, I have dreamt of him. As far as I can remember, it was sometime in January 2008. In my dream, our family received a letter from him stating that he was okay; that he went to a very far away place. We were happy because at long last we received news from him. Then I passed by his room and saw him sleeping. He woke up, went out of the room and had small chat with the family. He said that he was tired and he needed rest because he’ll be going back to that place and that we should not worry because he’ll be fine, he’ll be okay. When I woke up, I was relieved. After a long time of wondering, I have got an answer. I considered it as a miracle because God allowed my brother to somehow communicate with one of us telling us not to worry and wonder about him.

Tomorrow, May 11th, if he didn’t pass away, he’ll be celebrating his 30^th birthday. It hurts because this will be the first 11^th of May that he won’t be here to celebrate his birthday. It hurts still but we all have to move on. I remember one friend told me that if we keep on crying, we are just giving our brother a hard time to move on; we are just holding him back. I have accepted the fact that he’s gone but of course, I feel sad once in a while because we won’t be able to see him and be with him anymore. Good thing, his daughter Raine really looks like him. Wherever he is right now, I know he’s watching over our family. Some people misunderstood him and judged him, he was just like that because he’s sick; but he was a good person with a big heart.

Letter to Kuya Ame:

Tol,

Kung nasaan ka man ngayon, alam kong okay ka na. Huwag ka ng mag-alala kay Raine kasi inaalaggan siya ng parents natin at ni Kuya Rene. Ok lang kami. Tol, un picture mo sa bahay, andun pa din. Ayokong tanggalin kasi 4 tayo eh..si Kuya Rene, ikaw, si Ate Ruth at ako. You’ll be in our hearts forever. Yung mga compositions mo, nasa Samar. Sabi ko sa Kuya itago nya kasi gusto ko na paglaki ni Raine, Makita nya penmanship mo at mabasa nya mga compositions mo. Yung mga pictures mo nasa Samar din para Makita ka rin ni Raine paglaki nya kahit wala ka na. Mahal na mahal ka namin. Masakit but we all have to move on. I won’t promise but I’ll try not cry every time I remember you. You were taken so young and God has a reason why it happened. O cia sige..happy birthday and we’ll visit your grave by Oct this year, that’s a promise. I love you tol.

…Sannah